Wednesday, April 8, 2015

I'm a horrible blogger; I am aware of that. My blog does not fit the two main requirements for hosting a successful blog.
  1. Posts are sporadic. A post here and there. Maybe five a week. Maybe one in six months. The excitement is in the surprise!
  2. Posts are beyond random. My blog is like a box of chocolates. You never know what your ganna get!
Now, I'm sure if I dug deep down I could find some Gilmore Girl reference here. Don't tempt me. Instead, I went with a Supernatural gif of Dean, as Jared Padalecki will always be known to me.

Today, in an effort to follow some sort of writing/promotion theme, I'm going to tell you a little story. Ready? Here we go.

Once upon a time, there was this mom. Now, she wasn't just the every day run of the mill mom. She overflowed with quirkiness into every aspect of her very full life. This mom - we'll call her Tammy for the sake of this story - also had a vivid imagination. Tammy didn't see a run down gas station. She saw a man flicking a cigarette into an abandoned building and it exploding in a ball of flames. A kid walking to the bus stop was never just a kid. He became the next big hero in a world ridden with villains. She could spin a story from anything and often did.

One day, Tammy was sitting in a Women's Lit/Gender Studies class. While she should have been listening to some boring lecture about Emily Dickinson, her muse whispered in her ear. "Have you considered exactly how curiosity killed the cat?"

I'm sorry,reader. Did you have a question?

No, this is not my story. This is Tammy's story. Any similarities to real people or events are merely coincidental. May I continue?

Thank you.

So, Tammy started thinking about that cat. Being engrossed in both the vampire trope and Harry Potter, she wondered, What if, Draco Malfoy were a vampire and Katrina was just an innocent girl. From there, spun the most ridiculous story of a teenage girl being abducted in a library and waking up a vampire.

I've read it. It was ridiculous. Full of silly puns and idioms out the wazoo. Maybe one day I will dig it up. Or ask Tammy to do so, that is.

Seriously, another question? What is it?

Have you read Taken? That's ridiculous. The Draco I fashioned is in no way related to Tammy's ridiculous character. My Draco is a sexy 6'2" African American man who protects people. He would never, and I mean never, consider abducting a teenage girl for shits and giggles! That's preposterous!

I need a moment. You've gotten me all worked up. Watch this video while I calm down.

I feel better. Shall I continue?


Tammy didn't stop there. She wrote many stories over the next few months. Many of which were so awful they came to nothing.

I know, I know. You are wondering what the point of this awful story could possibly be and if I am ever going to get to it. Well, here it is.

I took something away from Tammy's courage and eagerness. I decided it was time to funnel my quirks into something written and thus I began blogging. It is my hope that you will become so enamored with my random and often sarcastic wit that you will keep coming back for more ridiculousness.


I feel that this post has come to an abrupt end, but seeing as how you have just taken up close to 45 minutes of my precious and rare writing time, I feel I must go. If you have any questions about Tammy, Draco or my anything else minutely referenced today, feel free to comment below. I will be sure to get back to you.